Choices

This weekend I heard some interesting thoughts that I'd like to share. The first was a saying that I can only paraphrase. It goes something like this: we will not bear the yoke of Christ, so we will tremble under the yoke of Caesar. The person speaking was likening this to the poor economic climate whose catalyst was the bust in the our housing industry. The greed and corruption of a few who would not do the right, or, in other words, would not submit to the yoke of Christ, brought stricter government regulations on the rest of the country. We see a decrease in our personal liberties as a result of those who acted financially or legally unethical.

There is a saying that normally says something about "the thick and thin of things," but I heard another version that is "In the thick of thin things." Sometimes we spend our time doing things that don't matter much in the scheme of things. With so many worthwhile ways to fill our time, how do we know what's the best use of our time?

That's a struggle I face with my kids each school year. Every special interest group has an opinion:

The kids should do sports because they need to be healthy, they only have 20 minutes of recess each day and PE only once a week, they need to be prepared for junior high sports which prepares them for high school athletics which has been shown to keep them out of trouble, helps them to fit in, and they need to learn how to work as a team, dedication, hard work, they need to learn to be physically fit, not only to avoid childhood obesity and diabetes, but to have a healthy body image, they need to learn sports that they will never participate in after high school...

The kids should run and play all afternoon because they don't spend enough time outdoors, acting like children, they don't learn to entertain themselves, they forget how to make friends and master the rules of the playground, they lose a sense of community and family, they are over scheduled and tired...

The kids should do homework and read without any tv or video games except for 1 hour on Saturday because they need to learn everything in elementary so that they can do well in Jr High so that they can be in the right classes and do well in high school so that they can get in to the right college, parents need to teach their children math facts and how to write the alphabet neatly and practice spelling, learn every vocab word in the science text book, and make sure they read on grade level because there isn't enough time to do these things in school, and tv will turn their brain to mush, make them have ADD from all the bright lights zapping around the screen, video games foster violence, and if they want to relax they can read a book...

They should also clean their rooms everyday before they can play, which is after homework but before sports, they should learn to cook and sort laundry, they should be taught how to grocery shop, to iron and to sew...

They should learn to play an instrument or to sing because they need to develop some talents, their brain learns math better if they learn music and play an instrument, they need to practice, they need to share their talents...

They should eat dinner at 5:30, they should never eat trans-fats or high fructose corn syrup, or anything that comes in a box or is white, they should never eat sugar cereal, they should take a bath every day and blow dry their hair so that it doesn't look stringy, they should be in bed by 7:30 so that they can get enough sleep, they should eat breakfast every day, and have adorable looking sack lunches filled with raw carrots and without lunch meat because they contain nitrates...

They should not get every toy they want, they should earn their toys, they should keep their rooms and toys clean and organized, but they should play with them often to show gratitude, they need to play with toys when they can't run around outside, they should share their toys with their friends, they should have friends over often, they should have the cool stuff so that everyone wants to come to your house so that you can keep an eye on what's going on...

They should wear modest clothing so that they don't look like Hollywood superstars who unrealistically never face consequences for wearing a few triangles of clothing sewed together, they should get to wear beautiful clothes, but they shouldn't be materialistic, they need to look current without being led to believe that what they wear trumps everyone else's needs, they shouldn't look like ragamuffins, but they shouldn't get new clothes every season...


They should spend time alone with mom to fill their love buckets, to learn to talk and share before they are teenagers, to learn how to act, or not to act, around the boy they have a crush on, to learn how much make-up is too much, what outfits actually match and why, why white cotton uniform shirts don't fall under the white after labor day rule...

They should spend time with Dad to increase their self-esteem, to play sports with Dad because mom is ready to sit down, to bond because he's the only other guy around since Jack, the dog, doesn't count, to learn how a boy should treat them, to learn how to be a man...

They should do something nice for somebody else everyday, they should learn to pray and read their scriptures daily, by themselves and with their family, they should go to church and midweek activities, they should learn to be kind and respectful, to follow the golden rule, to learn what good behavior is and why they should act that way, they should learn to choose the right if only because it is the right thing to do, they should learn to stand up for the little guy, that good manners matter because good manners show you care about people...

Does that list make you as tired as it makes me? How is a parent supposed to choose? Times four.

Some parents choose to homeschool their kids. It seems to me that this is the perfect way to check all of those boxes without having to spend time in the carpool line at school. It seems a great way to apply the adage to submit to the yoke of Christ rather than tremble under the yoke of Caesar.

It would be perfect for the kind of mom that doesn't need to relax ever. Someone who doesn't want to occasionally spend an afternoon wrestling with the three year old and reading a book instead of being responsible and mopping the kitchen floor.

Everthing on that list is a valid reason or worthwhile endeavor, but there just aren't enough hours in the day to do all of that. Some days, we are the super family accomplishing feats of organization and productivity. Every other normal day, we are lucky not to eat the mystery meat in the school cafeteria, some of us get a bath, we have prayer and scripture study, home work done, sat through someone's athletics, and not raised our voices.