Pause

I've been sick with a cold recently, and I haven't felt like writing much. In addition, there are days when I just can't get excited enough about anything other than my kids or a good book to write about. Except the Noble Peace Prize!

Wow, I am still thinking of what to say about that one that hasn't already been said. I did find out that the Nobel Peace Prize for economics was given to a woman, an American, for the first time, and it was because she found out that public works areas, such as parks, are better cared for by the people who use them than by the federal government or even private companies. What an interesting concept. There is this thing, it's called stewardship. It's also called ownership. It's called gratitude, responsibility, volunteerism, selflessness, hardworking, ingenuity, cooperation: It's what makes America great.

Audrey and Zach love to count the cute tree frogs on our back window in Spanish. He wanted to stay home from school the other day because he was "sick...sick of school" He is learning to sing 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, in Spanish, how to read the sounds "ma, me, mi, mo, mu" and to color inside the lines. He has homework now and actually sits down with me every day to do it happily.

Sydney misses her old friends and is running into problems with the girls in her class not wanting to include her in anything. The same happens at church. She is looking forward to her writing benchmark tomorrow because she enjoys writing stories. I am going to sign her up for basketball tomorrow, so that will be fun. She has greatly improved in Volleyball. and I am glad that her season lasts until Thanksgiving. It would be a shame to end the season next week now that things are starting to click for her team. (Zach's soccer ends next week as does Ainsley's tennis.) Some days I consider home schooling her, too, just to spare her the pain of mean classmates.

Ainsley likes to be loud and wonders if it is okay to be proud of who she is, even if it is loud. I said yes, except for the times when it isn't OK to be loud: church, in your mom's ear...She continues to be the star of her class, according to her, and has to have quiet lunch or do extra laps because everyone in her class, but herself, is bad. She surprises me by how outgoing she is. She is not afraid of what others think. Or if she is, I can't tell. I knew that her two year old penchant for knowing exactly what she wanted would pay off one day. Now she is content to like only the things that interest her, to be herself because who wouldn't love what she loves, as she has such great taste...

Zach has a navy sweater with a zipper that he won't wear because his friends tell him it is a girl's sweater. I think I told him to tell his friends to shut up, but Zach told me that's not a nice word. So maybe I told him to tell them that if his sweater is for a girl, then they are a girl.

Some days I am incredibly productive. Today, for example, I cleaned three bedrooms, changed all the sheets, vacuumed two rooms and the hallway, did 4 loads of laundry and put them all away, got out the kids' winter clothes, and took Audrey to her Cultural Expressions class. Other days, however, I feel like sitting on the chaise lounge with a good book and a Coke to drink. (BTW, my grandmother read the Dan Brown book and officially said I can keep drinking Coke. So Neil, you can blame her.) Is it because Neil is gone or is it because I can't remember how to live a normal, balanced life?

Describing last year as busy would be an understatement. When I went in for my physical last week, my blood pressure had dropped 30 points since May. Last year, I didn't have time every day to clean, except to straighten the downstairs for when Neil got home, so I'd mega clean on my one free day. Now that I have more free days than not, I still do all of my cleaning at once. Maybe it's just that if I'm going to spend the time cleaning, I'd like the room to be completely clean-not just one hot spot done in each room-and I can't do that in a few minutes per room. Until I figure out how to be a normal stay at home mom, how to act during the pause in between the morning and afternoon rush, how to be the angel of the house, half of my house will be spotless and the other half will be messy, waiting for me to be inspired to clean again.

Did you know that Virginia Woolf said that to be a writer, a woman must kill the angel of the house? Does writing a blog count? I'm all for it if somehow a maid will show up in her place. Or that elusive Army detail.


PS-Neil updated his blog yesterday with pictures and a few funny stories.
neilonthemoon.blogspot.com