Leadership Development

This week I am taking a class at Fort Bragg called "Army Family Team Building: Leadership Development." There are two classes leading up to this that are focused on an introduction to the Army and personal development. Somewhere along the way the Army decided that if they could teach their Army families the basics of what the Army is, does, and can provide for them, how to develop time management, effective communication, and how to lead, these families would require less of the Army's time and resources. Wow, what a concept!

Did you know that in order to receive WIC (Women Infant Children) coupons, the mother and child have to take a quarterly class about nutrition? Similarly, there are requirements for unemployment beneficiaries. Would it be possible to require to require Food Stamps and TANF recipients to take classes teaching them communication skills, time management, personality tests to judge what jobs might interest them, money management, non-monetary or human services gov't resources available to them? I don't know what kind of education would really benefit these families, but surely there is something that could help them that isn't easily attainable to an individual with limit resources.

Many of the lessons we have had included quizzes that test our leadership style, our conflict management style, our problem solving style...When I take these quizzes I do so through the lens of my work with the Auxiliary last year as well as through issues that they are experiencing this year. Another thing I have done is to retake the same quiz considering how I behave as a mother. It turns out I'm not as good at being a leader in my family as I am in a professional setting. How is that possible since I have never been a "professional," but I have been a mom longer than all but one of my friends? (Not to include older friends or family members.)

The section on delegating is a prime example of this. I could handle this at the hospital, but I am horrible at this at home. Maybe it's the fact that Neil's only two and a half jobs at home were changing high light bulbs, mowing the yard more often than I did, and fixing the occasional plumbing issue. Towards the end of our time in San Antonio, that plumbing was more of a nightly endeavor, but you get the point. I don't want to say that I do everything around here, but if I don't do something, it doesn't get done. I don't mind this and really don't even notice it now after all these years. That is just the reality of life with Neil's schedule. I would never dream of asking him to take on more responsibility and tasks than he already has on his plate. For sure there are times that Neil decides to run to the grocery store for me, or does the dishes, laundry or vacuum. It means a great deal to me when he tacks on my chores to his already crazy-busy days, when he carries my load for me. It's just the way things go that I do everything, so I forget that my kids are getting old enough to help me. Or else I am too busy or too tired to train them properly.

The other day, Sydney did a sink full of dishes for me. I'm not sure how she even reached the faucet or high cabinets, but she did it. There were some dishes that had to be redone the next time I did dishes because they weren't quite clean, but it was a wonderful break! (It's difficult to scrub so hard when your arms are the width of, say, a paper towel roll. An adorable paper towel roll, it's true.)

I have resolved to integrate these leadership skills into how I interact with my children. But not today. I don't know how you working moms do it. Where do you find time for anything? I got done with class at 2:30, picked up Audrey, picked up the kids, drove to the library for school project, grocery shopped for the next week, put away groceries, helped with homework, made dinner, took the kids to church activities, gave two baths, picked kids up, put them all to bed, did two loads of laundry, cleaned off the counter and kitchen table (but did no dishes), and watched an hour of TV. (Thank goodness for the DVR-I can watch the few shows I like and skip the commercials to save time.) I'm blogging while I wait for that laundry...

There are three more time intensive chores, plus two more baths that didn't get done tonight. Where do you find the energy to do all of this? I'm going to bed now and, fyi, I'm not going take a compensated job (I have had lots of uncompensated jobs, financially speaking) until I can find a job that will pay for a maid to do dishes and to vacuum up what Audrey lovingly calls "Dog-Lubber." AKA: dog fur. If I could harvest Yellow Lab fur into fuel for cars I would be a gazillionaire and wouldn't need a job.