I'm not lost, this is just not where I expected to end up

Neil complains that I lack a developed inner compass. He reminds me of the many times during our med school years in Houston that I got us lost driving in one of Houston's "suburbs." It doesn't matter to him that these suburbs are roughly the size of a small city on the Eastern seaboard. Neil wonders how I could have grown up in Houston and not know my way around Kingwood or how to maneouver I-45 between Downtown and the Spring/Cypress area. Somehow Houston-sized urban sprawl is not an excuse. Neither is the fact that, as a teenager driver, I didn't have a reason to drive to certain parts of Houston. It is true that I can get close to most places worth going in the city, but only if I could picture the location in relation to either I-10 or Loop 610. When "close" required 30 additional minutes of driving before arriving at our destination, Neil would point out that "almost is only good in horse shoes and hand grenades."


Before we left for North Carolina, Neil bought a GPS for my car. Notwithstanding Neil's opinion of my sense of direction, I was still amazed at how many times the GPS kept me heading in the right direction during our road trip. I hadn't expected to need it; before we left, I printed all kinds of Google driving directions. However, by the time we arrived in Fayetteville, I was sure that with my GPS I would never get lost again.


Never say never, right? On the first day in our new home, we tried to find a restaurant for dinner. I should have known I was in trouble when the GPS didn't register the one-way street; it took us 15 minutes to go .4 miles. Another Neil-ism is the label for anything that stinks: it was "bring your kids to work day" when it was designed. As in freeway overpasses and intersections in San Antonio or almost every street in Fayetteville.


There is one street that has 5 different names depending on where you are on this street. Let me tell you how much the GPS loves that. Then there are the streets : 401 business, 401 bypass, 4400, & 4404. Those streets all have different names as well, and one of those streets is part of the 5-name street. Somewhere in the city they all intersect. The GPS may have that figured out, but my eye sight isn't that good.


Today we drove down a street called Skye. We were heading straight down this street when we spotted another street sign for Skye. This new street happens to intersect the Skye street we were already on. Why wouldn't both streets be named Skye, right?


The last straw was using the GPS while I was on Post. I put in an unfamiliar address and followed my Australian Jimminy Cricket. (Neil programmed the GPS to speak with an Australian accent.) It tried to lead me through multiple cement barricades and then 30 minutes of driving out to the mall before it sent me back past my own house. It turns out that the person lives 10 minutes away from me, and I could have just driven home from Post and then continued down the road. I almost cried.

In the past two weeks, the GPS and the City of Fayetteville have cost me 4 hours of my life that I will never get back. On the way, though, I have discovered an amazing Cupcake Gallery with divine strawberry cupcakes, El Tejano Mexican food restaurant, and a restaurant attached to a bait shop that my dad would probably love.

As a practice, I'm morally opposed to restaurants whose names proclaim them to be the epitome of regional cuisine. For example, in Fayetteville we have On the Border or the Texas Roadhouse. Neither one seems worth the calories. But I've heard that El Tejano is a restaurant owned by people from South Central Texas and it's the closest thing around to Tex-Mex. I'll keep you posted on that one. Based on this city's track record, I'm not holding my breath for anything special.

For now, I will go back to mapping my routes out on Google maps the night before. Or using my iPhone and GPS together while I'm driving to figure where I am compared to where the GPS wants me to go. ( I stop in random parking lots and empty turn lanes while attempting this, so don't be worried that I'm dangerous.) I know that if I didn't have these tech devices, I would never leave my house or at least my well-worn path to Post. BTW, which is more dangerous, reading a map while driving or having a heart attack when your GPS directs you in to oncoming traffic?