Avril Lavigne and Hannah Montana

Most of the time, I'm not a fan of Avril Lavigne and only sometimes of Hannah Montana. What the media considers "edgy" in Lavigne, I find crass and a glorification of selfishness and disrespect. I also think it's interesting that while she's this beautiful young lady, in some of her videos, she dresses in feminine versions of classic boy's clothes. Ties and tube althletic socks come to mind. I know that every woman who wears a tie isn't trying to be or look like a man. However, it's my personal opinion that when Lavigne tries to get a guys' attention by dressing in traditionally masculine ways, it makes a statement about those boys. I think the same thing when the Jonas Brothers dress in masculine versions of classic women's clothes. None of these kids dress themselves; their clothes are picked by stylists or are sent by companies as marketing tools. I think it's these grown ups who, whether it's a conscious decision or not, create gender confusion. I'm not assigning judgement, but it's what I see.

I like a lot of Hannah Montana music, but only 3 songs by "Miley". Shortly before Miley's infamous photos, she released a song that was an effort to be more like Lavigne, down to the edgy lyrics, the tone of the music, the wardrobe choices, and the choreography. Once the scandal erupted about the photos, you'll notice that her music has toned back down to suit her 'tween audience.

Anyway, what I wanted to say about these two musicians is this: I let the girls listen to one song by Lavigne and one of the songs by Miley because they deal with the theme of looking past a person's social status and what they look like to learn about the actual person inside. The Avril Lavigne song is about a girl who won't go out with a skater boy she likes because he wears the wrong clothes. He grows up to be a rock star. The Miley Cyrus song is about how there is more to her than the averag teenage girl-she's a Rockstar. We use that song to remind our girls to have confidence in themselves-that what other people perceive and the subsequent behavior doesn't correlate to my daughters' worth and unique personality. Unless it's a positive perception and they treat my girls like the princesses they are.

Every person has a story, even in high school. I remind my girls that their dad wasn't always 6'5", an officer in the Army, or a surgeon. Neil remains grateful for those friends of his from back in the day who saw his potential and treated him accordingly. I'm grateful to those friends of his that I've never met. While I don't know how successful I was at that, I tried to do the same to the people that were around me. Whenever I hear that Avril Lavigne song, I have this discussion with my girls in an effort to lead them to be kind to everyone they come into contact with.

I was spurred onto my soap box by a friend who thought he was "nerdy" in high school. Or "dorky". I can't remember what he actually said. Neil will tell you similar stories, but this was a friend of mine from back in the day. Anyway, this friend took great risks to start his own company so that he can provide for a family he doesn't have yet. The Urban Dictionary defines RockStar in 4 pages worth of definitions, but here's to my husband and my friend who's had a rough day or two: "Your typical joe who does something good."

PS-Just FYI, the context clue/sentence for that particular definition is R Rated, so don't go look it up if you're a PG-13 kind of girl, like me.